wat bout pragnant strippers??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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