What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
