The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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