Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
