you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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