Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
