I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
