i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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