You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
