ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
