I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize