My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
