I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
