end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize