she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
