Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she looked like the before picture.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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