I just saw a hot homeless man
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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