sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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