I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize