I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
