the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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