This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
