I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
