Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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