she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
as a side note pls kill me
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