After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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