well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
