I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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