she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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