is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
