you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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