i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
