He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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