In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
