Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't turn off my feet"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
