Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
