Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There are leaves in my underwear?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize