Having a random hookup so left but love u
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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