Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
