thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
