I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
