How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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