we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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