we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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