i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
