then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
