you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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