didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
