Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
