when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
