if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
