its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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