i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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