God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You are a genius and a whore.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
