ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize