Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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