winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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