Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
