I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
