gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
