Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
