i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
