Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
