i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
